Bereft of Ideas

Maybe I should let a Marx brother speak for me...

Take it away Harpo!
**Harpo takes my computer away**

erm, here are some Groucho quotes:

"Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!"

"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it"

'Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"

'A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five"

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others"

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana"

"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped"

This is an excellent Marx Brothers site with loads of audio and video and cool games.

And here you can link Zeppo Marx to any celebrity in the magnificently titled Five Degrees of Zepporation.

Robots in Disguise

This link was stolen from Laura Llew. It is fantastic. Read it now! Would you like to change your name too? Find out what your Transformer name is here. In a strange coincidence mine is Optimus Prime. Go here and click on Autobots or Deceptions to find out about your new persona. While you are changing your name, listen to this. Then re-enact the battle of Autobot City here.

Sing A Song of Sixpence

hmmm, war. It is like a long TV show really. This 24 hour coverage is quite strange, but very addictive. I guess it is like reality television taken to its extreme. I don't agree with Bush and co being there, but they are, and they're not going to leave because I want them to. So I am hoping that they capture/kill Saddam as quickly as possibe, and that death (be it Iraqi, American, British, Australian...) is kept to a minimum.

Last night I saw Massive Attack. They were mostly great. The new songs are a little sterile and tuneless I think, but the songs they played off the first three albums were amazing. Dot Allison was one of the vocalists too, which was a more than pleasant addition to the line-up.

Kin made me a copy of last weeks Teenage Fanclub gig, so I now have auditory proof of Teenage Fanclub saying this to me:
"The guy in the brown t-shirt, the Belle and Sebastian one, nice job."
Luckily my subsequent blushing and going weak at the knee's is not recorded on tape.

The Massive Attack concert signalled the end of what was "gig-season" here in Perth. There is no one touring that I want to see until the Lucksmiths in May or something. I could go to see local bands, and no doubt will go to a few gigs, but I don't know of any Perth bands that get me particularly excited.

While it is often all fun and games on here, I think there are times when we should stop and reflect on how lucky we are to be living in a stable democracy where we have access to water, food, sanitation, hospitals.... This, however, isn't one of those times.

I have a new computer! The best thing is that I can now burn CD's, and also plug my 4-track into the computer and make copies of my own music. I plan on doing good versions of all the songs I have written and making an album by July. It is tentatively titled "Alarm Response Exhaustion" by The Terry Boyle Two (thanks to jim for the name). If it eventuates I plan on releasing it indepently to everyone I know (so that will be about 50 people). As it such a limited edition, I will be charging $100. But you can pre-order it now for the low low price of just $50! Or you can send me a violet crumble (if i have my way the dollar will be replaced by the violet crumble. those little ones will replace the 50c piece, while the king-size will be worth $2. I haven't quite figured out how I am going to stop counterfeit violet crumbles [like that cheap stuff you get in supermarkets]).

The other good thing about my new computer is the pinball game on it. It makes whirry noises. And I have the high score on all the games too! Wouldn't it be good if you could make it so that all high scores went under your name? Then if someone happened to play a game on my computer and beat my score, and were like "Haha, I beat your high score on my first try, I am so great and you just suck and you're a pathetic loser who sucks and loses!", then they would go to enter their name and they would be like "Dude I can't enter my name in here, I can't change it, it just says Terry", and I would be like "hmm, I don't know what is going on there, but it looks like I just beat my own high score!", and they would be like "but dude, I just played the game!", and i would be like "Did you? I'm pretty sure I just played - and why would you enter my name if you played the game?". That would be so cool.

The League of Gentlemen

The League of Gentlemen is the *greatest* television show in the history of television (i would say the greatest television show in the history of the world, but there may have been a really great show which was invented before television, which no one ever actually saw but was fucking fantastic. I could imagine some crazy caveman sitcom (Everybody Loves Caveman?) being quite funny, or perhaps a caveman quiz show (Who Wants to Own a Fuck of a lot of Rocks? or a pre-wheel Wheel of Fortune, with a square shaped spinny thing). How about "When Dinosaurs Go Bad", or "Rock Around the Sundial", or "Changing Caves"? Or a super hero show (Captain Caveman? Hang on, that's an actual show isn't it? And a damn good show too - thus strengthening my suggestion that The League of Gentlemen may not be the greatest television show ever. Hang on, the point of this entry was to say how great The League of Gentlemen was. Fuck I'm confused. Forgive me, I am very excited about seeing Teenage Fanclub, Badly Drawn Boy, Dexter Avalanche and more this afternoon. How fantastic!

PS Please feel free to come up with more cave person television shows (I know I will). Just leave them in the commenty shout out thing. Jim, this means you! Bad puns are more than welcome - hell they're actively encouraged!

Stuff et al

this week, I have been mostly listening to: This is Just A Modern Rock Song EP - belle and sebastian, and How I Learned to Write Backwards - aisler's set.

My Honours proposal is well and truly underway, and I have got that research mindset going on. Hence the et al. And most e'thing I write is in s'hand now. For example, American Journal of Occupational Therapy becomes Am J OT. Cool hey? What is not cool though is that I doubt whether I am going to get the chance to read Fiction for a while. Not cool hey?
I am feeling quite excited about my little Honours project, it is a ground-breaking in its own small way. Though all the damn oral presentations I have to do takes a shine off things. And it is all a little stressful too, but I guess that makes it easier to do work. I find that I am more susceptible to getting down about things when I am under pressure. I think that is quite normal though.

Have I talked about my idea of starting an indie club at universtiy on here yet? I'm not sure. Anyway, no one has responded so I guess it is going to be a club of one. I guess I can listen to whatever music I want though, and I can be the President. I can also be the secretary and swindle all the members out of their money and spend it on sex, drugs and violet crumbles. Woo-hoo! There's a party at my place and all the members of my club are invited!
Being President is so cool. My plan is to take over the UWA hip-hop club, the UWA electonic music club, the UWA jazz club, the UWA blues club and the UWA heavy metal club. Don't those people realise that indie is a better way to live?! Hopefully I'll get the backing of the Student Union, but I'm going to take over those clubs even if I don't. I know that indie is the right way to live. It is my duty to liberate all those people from the oppressive music that they listen to. The leaders of those clubs just have to go. Any suggestion that all I want to do is swindle all those clubs out of their money and spend it on sex, drugs and Violet Crumbles is just wrong. I'll still let the members of those clubs operate, but I'll be deciding what kind of music they listen to. The electronic music club, for example, will be able to listen to Bis, and the hip-hop club can listen to that rappy Guild League song, and maybe De La Soul. Sure there are those who will protest about me taking over those clubs, but they are just giving comfort to those Club Leaders who are forcing their members to listen to oppressive music.
I am a religious boy, and listen to the hymns of Belle and Sebastian every day. I sing along to give thanks to Stuart Murdoch, our mighty leader. I read the words of the Sinister prophets every day. I am wary of false idles, like the Stereophonics and Damon Albarn. I have given myself to the indie Gods, and in their name I will overpower the oppressive rule of non-indie clubs. This is my destiny.

Sweet Like Candy

My previous post got me thinking about what kind of chocolate bar I would be if i weren't a meat product. I didn't need to look any further than the internet...

you are caramel.

you're smooth and gooey, but when smeared somewhere, sticky and difficult to clean up. you're derived from milk and sugar, without a whole lot of anything else needed but heat to get your kind of consistency. you're a fairly common choice, but still rich and satisfying.

What Lindt Chocolate bar are YOU? Take the quiz!

No Mail Today (it wasn't always so)

Yesterday I put posters up at uni in the hope that people will read them. Then they will go "That is a great idea!" and email me. The idea is starting a UWA indie club, where people will meet once a week and listen to new and classic indie albums while chatting, reading, knitting, eating lunch and/or moping. Hopefully people will join. They should cause it is a mighty good idea.

I have a busy week ahead. I have lots to do on my Honours Proposal, which is coming along nicely. On Thurday I am going to finally see The Quiet American, and I'll also be watching The Rules of Attraction sometime too (with my free double pass!). Then on Saturday I get to see Teenage Fanclub AND Badly Drawn Boy. I am not really excited about it yet, maybe cause I still can't believe that Mr Gough is actually coming to Perth. Behind Belle and Sebastian he is the musician that I most want to see.

I have been unable to check my email for the last couple of days due to the log-on page just not coming up. It is rather annoying. I guess it is like a public holiday, when the mailwomen and men don't deliver mail. I hate those days, especially when you forget it is a public holiday and keep on checking the mailbox. I tend to check the mailbox, and my email inboxes, quite often. I think it is related to one of my insecurites. I'm not good at waiting, and get very anxious when people are late. If I'm at home it is okay, but waiting for people at a pub/cafe/shop etc is not a pleasant experience. I have almost cried several times (I can normally handle about half an hour, but after that I lose all composure). These two things (mail and waiting) seem related.
Luckily I have an email address which is working. I get a little news round-up thing once a day so I always have mail. I think the idea of getting mail is almost always better than actually getting mail. Let me rephrase that. Getting mail is often more exciting than what the mail actually is. I guess it is anticipation. I need things to look forward to. Once I have it, the anticipation is removed and I am left with a bit of paper, or words on a screen, or a mixtape. These things are generally fantastic, don't get me wrong, but the anticipation is what I live for. Of course too much anticipation can be a bad thing, like when you are waiting for someone at a pub/cafe/shop etc and they are late. If there is a point to this I think it is that anticiaption is good, but it can easily turn in to despair. Or something like that. Actually I think that waiting for mail and waiting for people are different. But also kind of similar. Kind of like how Crunchie's and Violet Crumbles are kind of similar, but also kind of different. They look similar, but when you get underneath the surface they are quite different. And they make you feel different too. Crunchies make my tongue go kind of wet and sandy, whereas Violet Crumbles make my tongue kind of dry and fuzzy. Too many Crunchies make me feel ill, but I can eat lots of Violet Crumbles and feel fine. If there is a point to this I think it is that eating Violet Crumbles is like the anticipation I feel while waiting for mail. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and nice, and I just can't get enough. Eating Crunchies are like the anticipation I feel while waiting for people. In small doses it is okay, but too much and I feel bad. I always did prefer Violet Crumbles to Crunchies. I think the logical conclusion to this is that EVERYONE should tell me that are going to send me Violet Crumbles. But you shouldn't actually send them until a week after you said you would.
So, to conclude, all Violet Crumbles should be sent to:

Terry Boyle
6/16 Monash Avenue
Nedlands WA 6009
Australia

If you are unable to purchase Violet Crumbles in your area, cheques and money orders can be made out to The Terry Boyle Violet Crumble Fund. Cash is also acceptable.

Don't Pigeon Hole me Man

Today I per-chased (I like to say it that way, for no obvious reason) a new computer. How terryboyley exciting! (cept I don't get it for a week or so) It also gave me an opportunity to practise my amazing bartering skills. An example:

Terry (looking sheepish): "I'll take it if you knock $50 off the price."
Cuteish Computer Sales Girl: "Sorry, this is as low as we can go."
Terry (looking even more sheepish): "Does the mouse have the wheely thing on?"
Cuteish Computer Sales Girl: "No, but we'll give you one which does for an extra $10."
Terry (looking confident in the knowledge that his powers of persuasion have once again come to the fore): "Okay, I'll take it."

When I was in Thailand with Alexis I used to get her to buy me stuff. I could get the pirate CD sellers down to about 250 baht, Lex could get them for around 150 baht. Either way, 60 minutes of "aaarrrrrghs" and "polly wants a cracker" for 10 bucks is a deal in my book.

Classes started yesterday. I am glad to be back at uni properly. As I am a post-grad student I get all kinds of benefits over all those young under-grads. Like access to coffee-making facilities. And, most excitingly, my very own pigeon hole! I am going for the shy scruffy pigeon hole. Most other Human Movementer's seem to have gone for the jocky sporty pigeon hole or the nerdy sporty pigeon hole. I dare to be different.

I have been thinking about a new anti-war slogan to wave about at the next rally. I don't think I am going to better "Stay the FAQ out of IRAQ". So far I've come up with "U is for Umbrealla, V is for Van, Dubya is for War" with cute little pictures, "John Howard can't see the peace for the Bush" (I think I may have stolen this from somewhere though), or maybe a picture of tanks shooting pretty flowers with "Flowers not Bombs" written underneath. What do you think?

Last Night I Dreamt I Won Some Money

Well not really, but as a result of my dream I may possibly win money. See, every now and then (about once a year) I have a dream about a sporting contest or lotto numbers. Sometimes they come true. For example, once I dreamt my Dad and Uncle purchased a Lotto ticket together and won $50. So they got the ticket and won about $30. I dreamt four numbers in Lotto once, so picked those numbers and two other random numbers. The four I dreamt came up and won me about $30. I have also dreamt two Melbourne Cup winners. And a couple of years ago I dreamt that Lleyton Hewiit would beat Pete Sampras 3 sets to love in the US Open Final, bet on it, and made a very tidy $200! Of course I've also dreamt wrong results quite a few times. Anyhoo, last night I dreamt that Man U beat Liverpool 3-2 in tonight's Worthington Cup final. Liverpool score the first two goals and lead 2-0 at half time, but Man U score 3 in the second half and come away triumphant.

So I am going to put $10 on a 3-2 result in Man U's favour (odds of 33/1). In the unlikely event that happens, I will pocket $340 and be rather chuffed. In the likely event it doesn't happen, let's never talk of Terry's crazy dreams again.

In other less sleepy news, we (Helen [aka Trixie], Jeremy and I) had a Sinister picnic on Friday. It was lovely. I'd write about it but I'm lazy and Jeremy covered it nicely here.