A Winter's Day in a Deep and Dark umm June
It's been ages since I listened to Simon and Garfunkel. Aren't they great? It is almost always good to not listen to something you really like for while. Cause then you kind of recapture the ever elusive feeling of falling in love with something for the first time. Endorphins come out to play, goose bumps raise their heads, hair stands on end. Though it is so god damn cold in my apartment I had goose bumps prior to Simon and Garfunkel's intervention.
Have you ever found yourself caught up in one of those crazy gift receiving situations in which someone thinks you like something, but actually you don't like it at all, and because out of politeness you say "what a great present!" they continue to think you like that particular thing, and so when they are next in a giving presents to you situation they think it is a safe bet to get you something similar. And before you know it everyone is thinking "hey, he or she likes that particular thing, let's get him or her that" and you end up with a whole lot of crappy presents. It's like a virus! And what can you do about it? I'll tell you what you can do about it - Not a damn thing! Because saying you don't like that particular thing could potentially hurt feelings, which in turn could potentially result in a lack of present-giving from the offended parties. And let's face it, crappy presents are better than no presents at all.
Rewind to when I was about 11 or so - I found myself in such a situation. My Aunty and Uncle got me a Daryl Braithwaite tape for Christmas. I could understand their reasons for the gift - he was popular at the time. But let it go on Record that I think Daryl Braithwaite sucks (okay, maybe I knew some of the words to that song about wild horses, but he is not cool). But being the polite boy I was (and continue to be of course) I pretended to be suitably enthused. But the next day the tape was in a drawer and there it stayed.
Fast Forward a year. What do they get me? The new Daryl Braithwaite album! Insert feigned glee and all that stuff. Again the tape goes in a drawer. I don't pay any more thought to the situation. But come my next Birthday I get a cassette shaped present from my Grandparents. Surely it can't be! My mind races. I'm not sure I'm able to Play the "what a great gift" game again. I Pause before unwrapping, preparing myself for the worst. It is, of course, a Daryl tape. His new Cassingle to be exact. The virus has spread. It's too late to stop it. I'll be getting Daryl Braithwaite albums for the rest of my life. I have but one option - I must kill Daryl Braithwaite.
Luckily his career died in the arse shortly after (he was last seen playing pubs in small country towns) and I didn't have to resort to such violent options. I was one of the lucky ones - my story had a happy ending. But millions of people aren't so lucky.
Take my Grandma for example. She hates frogs. Can't stand the little green hoppers. So someone decided to get her a ceramic frog to put in her garden (the ironic present, what joy it brings). My Grandma put the frog in her garden (did she have a choice?), where others could see it. And it turns out some of those people saw the frog and thought "hmm, she must like frogs". Guess what happens next? My Grandma starts getting mugs with frogs on, cards with frogs on, and so on and so on. The virus has spread, and it cannot be stopped. 20 years it has been going, maybe longer. Other people I know have suffered from cow themed presents. This is a widespread problem in the community, yet is seems no one is doing any kind of research to find a cure. So I have decided to do something about it. I'm not sure what, but when I think of something I'll let you know.
It's been ages since I listened to Simon and Garfunkel. Aren't they great? It is almost always good to not listen to something you really like for while. Cause then you kind of recapture the ever elusive feeling of falling in love with something for the first time. Endorphins come out to play, goose bumps raise their heads, hair stands on end. Though it is so god damn cold in my apartment I had goose bumps prior to Simon and Garfunkel's intervention.
Have you ever found yourself caught up in one of those crazy gift receiving situations in which someone thinks you like something, but actually you don't like it at all, and because out of politeness you say "what a great present!" they continue to think you like that particular thing, and so when they are next in a giving presents to you situation they think it is a safe bet to get you something similar. And before you know it everyone is thinking "hey, he or she likes that particular thing, let's get him or her that" and you end up with a whole lot of crappy presents. It's like a virus! And what can you do about it? I'll tell you what you can do about it - Not a damn thing! Because saying you don't like that particular thing could potentially hurt feelings, which in turn could potentially result in a lack of present-giving from the offended parties. And let's face it, crappy presents are better than no presents at all.
Rewind to when I was about 11 or so - I found myself in such a situation. My Aunty and Uncle got me a Daryl Braithwaite tape for Christmas. I could understand their reasons for the gift - he was popular at the time. But let it go on Record that I think Daryl Braithwaite sucks (okay, maybe I knew some of the words to that song about wild horses, but he is not cool). But being the polite boy I was (and continue to be of course) I pretended to be suitably enthused. But the next day the tape was in a drawer and there it stayed.
Fast Forward a year. What do they get me? The new Daryl Braithwaite album! Insert feigned glee and all that stuff. Again the tape goes in a drawer. I don't pay any more thought to the situation. But come my next Birthday I get a cassette shaped present from my Grandparents. Surely it can't be! My mind races. I'm not sure I'm able to Play the "what a great gift" game again. I Pause before unwrapping, preparing myself for the worst. It is, of course, a Daryl tape. His new Cassingle to be exact. The virus has spread. It's too late to stop it. I'll be getting Daryl Braithwaite albums for the rest of my life. I have but one option - I must kill Daryl Braithwaite.
Luckily his career died in the arse shortly after (he was last seen playing pubs in small country towns) and I didn't have to resort to such violent options. I was one of the lucky ones - my story had a happy ending. But millions of people aren't so lucky.
Take my Grandma for example. She hates frogs. Can't stand the little green hoppers. So someone decided to get her a ceramic frog to put in her garden (the ironic present, what joy it brings). My Grandma put the frog in her garden (did she have a choice?), where others could see it. And it turns out some of those people saw the frog and thought "hmm, she must like frogs". Guess what happens next? My Grandma starts getting mugs with frogs on, cards with frogs on, and so on and so on. The virus has spread, and it cannot be stopped. 20 years it has been going, maybe longer. Other people I know have suffered from cow themed presents. This is a widespread problem in the community, yet is seems no one is doing any kind of research to find a cure. So I have decided to do something about it. I'm not sure what, but when I think of something I'll let you know.
posted by terry at 3:38 PM
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